Lessons Learned at Modern Memoirs

Publishing Associate Emma Solis during her last week at Modern Memoirs in September 2024

A Farewell Blog Post by Publishing Associate Emma Solis

When I began working at Modern Memoirs, Inc. as Publishing Associate in May 2023, I had just graduated from Smith College, and my internship with the business the previous summer was my only real work experience. I am so happy that company president Megan St. Marie took a chance on hiring me because I can’t think of a better foundation for launching into my career and life as an adult. One year and four months later, I am unfortunately leaving my position to follow my partner and explore opportunities in New York City. My departure does not negate how grateful I am for the opportunities I had here, nor how much I enjoyed working within such a caring, supportive, and knowledgeable team. In the interest of preserving the valuable lessons I’ve learned, I have decided to enumerate them here. To college students and young adults looking to learn about or join the publishing industry, I hope this short list may provide a good starting point to see what lessons you may take away from an internship or first job with a small publisher like Modern Memoirs, Inc.

1. The devil really is in the details.

A book is a collection of countless details masquerading as a seamless unit, each detail so small and easy to overlook on its own. During my tenure as Publishing Associate, I have witnessed the mix of panic and relief that comes with catching a tiny mistake in the late-stage review process, or, more unfortunately, upon receiving proofs of the printed book. During one project, a client’s last-minute addition of a few extra sentences at the end of the chapter had added an extra page that was now missing a page number. We were able to catch the error and resolve it before printing the bulk run of books. This (thankfully unusual) experience taught me that you really cannot double-check enough times, even after receiving the book, and even if it looks perfect on the outside.

On the flip side, it was often the small details that took a book project from great to superb. These decisions often involved one staff member who had a particular insight into our client and knew how to include a feature that would delight them in the bookmaking process. Including colored endsheets, using a display font that hearkened to the client’s native language, or compiling a list of folksy sayings a client had used in his manuscript—these special touches were a product of the Modern Memoirs staff’s desire to make every book perfect for its particular client. It was deeply satisfying to hear a client’s rave response to details that arose from so much thought and care.

2.     Together Everyone Achieves More.

Modern Memoirs’ team truly embodies that acronym you sometimes see on motivational posters: “T.E.A.M: Together Everyone Achieves More.” President Megan St. Marie led our weekly team meetings with humor and warmth, encouraging every member to share their recent progress and struggles, and fostering a supportive, close-knit atmosphere.

Personally, I learned a great deal from every member of our small team. I often worked closely with Director of Publishing Ali de Groot and observed her extraordinary ability to connect deeply with our authors. Because she has written and published a memoir herself, she can offer boundless empathy, patience, and wisdom to our clients; because she is passionate about this work, she imbues it with fun and joy, especially when a client returns to express how much they loved their books!

My design skills have improved tenfold from working with Book Designer Nicole Miller, who brings endless innovation and energy to the Modern Memoirs team. She helped coach me through tricky InDesign features, gave me advice on analytics and marketing, and inspired me to develop a custom Online Author Page product by learning about CSS.

I felt I could always go to Genealogist Liz Sonnenberg for support due to her kind disposition and penchant for offering help. At team meetings, I was always fascinated by her explanations of what she had found in her genealogy research. It was a pleasure to watch her and President Megan St. Marie swap literature recommendations, and to hear about Megan’s latest research and writing projects. In general, the Modern Memoirs team is a deeply creative and passionate bunch, and the energy only grows when everyone is in a room all together.

Creative fields like writing can involve lots of time spent alone, and paths like freelance work don’t offer much outside support. Publishing, however, is a field that relies on constant communication and collaboration—just one reason I was interested in pursuing it! I was surprised and glad to find that much of my role over this year involved being a part of Modern Memoirs’ close-knit team, which appreciates and values the unique strengths of each member.

“I would sometimes come across a line of writing by a client that struck me—maybe the line would be about a recent loss, or connecting with a parent, or just being doubtful about the future—and I’d feel seen and comforted, knowing that someone else at some time had felt the same way.”

3. Everyone deserves to have their story told.

Before beginning my work at Modern Memoirs, I already believed in the value of being able to share one’s story. Writing is a means of connecting with others and broadening our horizons. However, I didn’t expect just how much I would be touched by the stories that came through Modern Memoirs. I found that the outlines of many of the narratives were similar—childhood, school, career, marriage, family—but the details the writer chose to include, and their perspectives, were all unique. I often thought about the writer’s family members and friends, who would treasure the intimate memories, photographs, and records within each book.

Loss is not something we like to dwell on, but it is another common factor of every person’s life story, like childhood and a career. Just a few months after I started at Modern Memoirs, I learned that my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Not having any other family history of cancer, I was shocked and gutted. Fortunately, my dad is still battling his cancer today, and is even able to travel from Texas to visit me. In the months that followed his diagnosis, though, nobody was sure what was to come. Being able to work from home at that time, which allowed me to travel and spend a month with my family, was critical to staying optimistic about the present and future. I felt so thankful to be at a company where I was encouraged to be with my family, and where Megan and Sean St. Marie had created a culture of sharing and support.

I was grateful for my role with Modern Memoirs at that time for one other reason: my work was unexpectedly helpful in dealing with the new changes in my life. In the course of my work, I would sometimes come across a line of writing by a client that struck me—maybe the line would be about a recent loss, or connecting with a parent, or just being doubtful about the future—and I’d feel seen and comforted, knowing that someone else at some time had felt the same way.

In that vein, people sometimes wonder why they should publish a memoir as an “average” person with experiences like those of many others. But I see the similarity of our experiences as a benefit, not a drawback. That similarity is what allows us to connect through something as small as a description of a feeling, or a retelling of an event. It is precisely what makes these memoirs so valuable, and what allows a family to feel close to an ancestor simply by reading about their life, never having met them in person.

4.     Good work feeds the soul.

With that said, my favorite part of working at Modern Memoirs, by far, is the sense of purpose I had in the knowledge that I helped bring someone’s story into the world. The days that we received advance books from the printer were like a birthday party, with the whole team gathering in the conference room to admire our collective work. I regard the books that I had more of a hand in with particular fondness, and I feel warm when thinking of them being enjoyed by the author’s family. The lovely notes and gifts we often received after completing a project bolstered the sentiment that our work is truly important and valued.

As I say goodbye to Modern Memoirs, I am confident that the company will continue to grow and thrive for years to come. I look forward to keeping in touch to see how the close-knit team I value so much will mentor new interns and publishing associates, forge intimate connections with authors, and bring new stories into the world as distinctive, beautiful books.

Reflections from Modern Memoirs Director of Publishing Ali de Groot, Part 2

Director of Publishing Alison “Ali” de Groot began her official employment at Modern Memoirs in September 2004. In honor of her 20th anniversary this year, we are presenting a two-part blog series in which we asked de Groot to reflect on two books of her own. Last month, in Part 1, she discussed Learning to Speak, a bereavement book dedicated to her mother, which de Groot published herself in 1999. In Part 2 below, we look into The Reader’s Chair: An Anthology of Memoirs-in-Progress, edited by de Groot and published by Modern Memoirs in 2018.

In 2002 Kitty Axelson-Berry, the founder of Modern Memoirs, launched First Person! First Night!, a place for writers in the Amherst, Massachusetts area to gather on a monthly, drop-in basis. On the first night of every month, writers were invited to read aloud their works-in-progress. The group, facilitated by Ali de Groot and Linda Stenlund, had anywhere from four to ten participants and met faithfully at the Modern Memoirs office for thirteen years, until 2015.

To honor this group, Axelson-Berry and de Groot envisioned creating an anthology of pieces written by longtime members. The Reader’s Chair is an informal collection of these writings. In the book’s Introduction, de Groot describes how, to prepare for each monthly gathering, she and her co-facilitator would “set up a bunch of mismatched chairs in a tight circle and place an old flexible floor lamp next to the designated reading chair, a frayed pink upholstered affair that had belonged to Kitty’s mother.” Today, over twenty years later, the reading chair remains a cherished piece of furniture in the Modern Memoirs office.

1. How does this anthology reflect the breadth of life experiences and writing styles that memoir can encompass?

Ali de Groot: I believe memoir writing can come in all shapes and sizes. Since life is full of experiences that are impossible to fit into one style, a memoir can be anything the writer wants it to be. I’m not talking about commercial “bestseller” memoirs. I’m talking about what we focused on in our group: personal, authentic, raw writing in whatever form it might take—a story, a letter, a poem, a dream, even a to-do list.

2. On one of the first pages of the book, you include a quote by Anaïs Nin: “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” How do these words convey the essence of memoir writing?

“Writing is a free journey, a window into understanding on a deeper level.”

Ali de Groot: One of my favorite writers in high school was Nin, so I had to include this well-known quote. When I read her published diaries, I realized that journal writing was really a form of memoir. As an avid journaler myself, I came to value this style of writing. For me, memoir writing is a powerful way to relive and make sense of an event after it has happened, be it positive or negative, important or inconsequential. Writing is a free journey, a window into understanding on a deeper level. And it allows me to face things I might not have wanted to face, and learn things about myself or others that I didn’t know.

3. As you describe in the Introduction: “We would devote some time after each person’s reading for constructive feedback from listeners, if desired, but ‘literary’ critique was discouraged and almost nonexistent. After all, these were usually raw and unedited pieces, sometimes read directly from a journal, a notebook, letters, even scrap paper. I think the majority of us had no intention of publishing our work (or even re-reading or revising it), although most of us were writing abundantly during those years.” What is an advantage to doing this type of writing, as opposed to working and re-working the actual chapters of a book? What is the advantage to this type of initial feedback?

Ali de Groot: Back to the journaling topic, this kind of writing is simply a way to get snapshots of the mind. It’s immediate, accessible, and you don’t have to analyze, edit, analyze, edit, etc. and drive yourself nuts trying to figure out the “best” way to say it. In my view, the “best” way doesn’t always live up to the most authentic way to say something.

The point of reading aloud wasn’t to get feedback. It was to have witnesses to a story in real time. A kind of magic happens for the reader (and the listener) in this setting. The feedback was secondary. Living in a very literary town like ours, I admit I wanted to avoid looking like a group of aspiring authors. In fact, when occasionally someone’s feedback got too scholarly, personal, inquisitive, or preachy, it was a big damper and we would have to steer the comments in a different direction. I think we just wanted motivation to write and reflect, with minimal feedback, the sort that makes you want to return the next time and helps you enjoy writing for writing’s sake.

4. Since writers in the group weren’t necessarily interested in publishing their work, how did you end up deciding to create the anthology? Can you describe the publication process?

Ali de Groot: It was Kitty (my then-boss) who initiated the concept, and I ran with it. I had one day a month to work on a personal project, so I decided to use that time to work on the anthology. First I had to solicit submissions, which was difficult because we didn’t even have an email list of people who had attended over the thirteen years! I knew a handful of people’s email addresses and contacted them. I wanted more people, but in the end I only had submissions from five. Although I gave deadlines for each step, it all naturally took longer than I thought. Kitty and I did a cursory proofread of all the pieces, but NO editing, keeping in line with our philosophy of keeping the writing raw and authentic. I designed the book, and we went to print, ordering just enough copies for each of the five members, who requested anywhere from two to twenty copies.

A bittersweet thing that happened later—there was one member, a close friend of mine, who initially didn’t even want to pick up her two copies. She had been in the group since its inception but was very humble and hesitant to let anyone know about the book. Around four years later, she became ill and passed away. We read some of her original poems at the funeral. And can you imagine what happened when people found out that she had been writing poems, stories, and journals for decades? They all wanted copies of the book. I’ve ordered reprints for her family and friends. So this book continues to honor her and proclaim to all those who knew her what a devoted writer she was. It’s a little glimpse into her soul.

5. If a writer does not have access to this type of group, what is the next best thing they can do to get themselves “writing abundantly”?

Ali de Groot: Form a group! Get a writing buddy! Even a virtual partner on Zoom! Make time to write on a regular basis (duh). Journal every day. (I don’t write every day.) Let yourself loose, and don’t think about anyone ever reading it. Explore verse, rhyme, lists, letters, minutes, shorthand, any kind of writing. Try writing in another language, writing with your opposite hand, writing in pen, pencil, marker, or on a keyboard. Look at a photo and write. Look at a painting and write. Look at what’s right in front of you and write. You’ll be surprised at what comes out.

The editor (with newly published book) sitting in the actual reader's chair at former office of Modern Memoirs, 2018

The reader’s chair, originally Kitty’s mother’s chair, as it sits in the Modern Memoirs office today, 2024

Liz Sonnenberg is genealogist for Modern Memoirs, Inc.

Five Questions: Reflections from Modern Memoirs Authors

As a special project to celebrate Modern Memoirs’ 30th anniversary, our staff decided to compile client interviews from our monthly “Reflections” blog series into a Digital Book entitled Five Questions: Reflections from Modern Memoirs Authors. Genealogist Liz Sonnenberg has been writing the “Reflections” series for the past three years. She brings a deep familiarity with each profiled author’s work to every one of her interviews, along with a genuine curiosity about the inspirations, struggles, and rewards they encountered along the self-publishing journey. The goal of each interview is to gain a deeper understanding of our authors as we allow them to process the impressive undertaking they have accomplished. For their part, our interviewees consistently honor us with honest, eloquent, and profoundly insightful reflections on their book projects.

“The goal of each interview is to gain a deeper understanding of our authors and allow them to process the impressive undertaking they have accomplished.”

As with each “Reflections” blog in the series, the creation of the Digital Book was a team effort that drew on the talents of the entire staff. The finished product is easy to share digitally with those curious about self-publishing, who may see a reflection of themselves in our former clients.

One of my favorite aspects of Five Questions is its variety of clients and projects. Five Questions represents authors who began the self-publishing process unsure of the value of their stories, authors who have sent their Modern Memoirs-published books to the Library of Congress, authors who wrote books primarily for the benefit of family or even for one specific family member, and authors who wrote books for self-expression. One client who has published three books with us, Stephen Rostand, explained his motivation for writing a family history in his interview: “I wanted to make sure my children and grandchildren and cousins knew something about their origins so they would not be orphans in history. After all, our past is part of all of us and knowing who we are should help guide us in the future.”

The presence of several repeat authors in Five Questions, some of whom are featured more than once in the book, may point to the value that our clients find not just in the Modern Memoirs publishing experience, but in these interviews, as well. A former client who is considering embarking on a new project with Modern Memoirs may revisit their “Reflections” blog to recall the specific obstacles they encountered and rewards they received from their first book. In her interview with client Elizabeth Tsai, who has published five books with Modern Memoirs, Liz asked what made her decide to return to the company to pursue her second project. Tsai answered, “[My first project] A Grandmother’s Diary was a way to test the waters. I thoroughly enjoyed working with Modern Memoirs, and I was confident that they would be as superb and as encouraging, if not more so, with the second project. The experience of working on the autobiography was akin to, but more fun and fruitful than, taking a course on memoir writing at a university. I learned a great deal, I had the fervent support of experts, and I exulted in the friendship of noble souls.”

As we celebrate three decades of helping hundreds of writers create the beautiful books they envision, we invite you to read about some of their experiences, and to share this Digital Book with anyone who might be ready to publish a book of their own with Modern Memoirs, Inc.

Emma Solis is publishing associate for Modern Memoirs.

Reflections from Modern Memoirs Director of Publishing Ali de Groot, Part 1

Director of Publishing Alison “Ali” de Groot began her official employment at Modern Memoirs in September 2004. In honor of her 20th anniversary this year, we are presenting a two-part blog series in which we asked de Groot to reflect on two books of her own. In Part 1 below, she discusses Learning to Speak, a bereavement book dedicated to her mother, which de Groot published herself in 1999. Later, in Part 2, we will look into The Reader’s Chair: An Anthology of Memoirs-in-Progress, edited by de Groot and published by Modern Memoirs in 2018.

© 1999 Alison de Groot

Ali de Groot’s mother, Nancy Phillipson de Groot (1932–1974), died when de Groot was 14 years old. In the Introduction to Learning to Speak, de Groot describes the years of silence that followed her mother’s death, and the years it took de Groot to realize what she had gone through after her mother died. Her book came about when, decades later, de Groot joined a “Bereavement Book” writing group facilitated by Kitty Axelson-Berry, who is a writer, editor, and founder of Modern Memoirs.




1. Your book opens with a quote by C.S. Lewis from A Grief Observed: “It doesn’t matter—not much—if my memory of her is imperfect. Images, whether on paper or in the mind, are not important for themselves. Merely links.” Why do these words resonate with you, and how do they reflect your experience with writing this book?

Ali de Groot: Firstly, C.S. Lewis was a favorite author of my late mother’s. She taught me the word “theologian” when I was a child and would have me read aloud to her in bed before I went off to sleep. We read all the Chronicles of Narnia by Lewis, as well as scores of spiritual writings by other theologians my mother admired. Decades later, when I came across C.S. Lewis’ book A Grief Observed, I was riveted because of how raw and honest Lewis sounded in describing his feelings after the death of his wife. It wasn’t a theologian talking, it was a man questioning everything he had ever learned or known or felt.

This particular quote is important to me because memory is indeed imperfect. What is important is to keep the memories alive. My memory of my mother is obviously going to be different from other people’s memories of her, and I had to come to terms with that once I started writing. But my primary goal was first to try to remember her, then to record my memories by writing them down. And I really wanted to be able to talk about her with my young children, who never knew their maternal grandmother.

2. In the Introduction you write, “This project was very, very hard to do at first, and I went slowly and with much anxiety. I had never separated my mother from the death itself, so there was no difference between thinking of her and thinking of aloneness and darkness. I do not exaggerate when I say that fear almost consumed me.” What was it that eventually opened you up, allowing you to overcome your trepidation?

Ali de Groot: It’s hard for me to imagine now, but for decades after my mother died, I never talked about her. Since I was only 14 and it was a sudden, unexpected death, it all became weirdly normal—she was just “gone” and we didn’t talk about her. That sounds horrible and callous to me now, but I think the main reason I didn’t talk is that nobody around me talked about her. This was in the 1970s, and resources for young people around the topic of death and dying were minimal. Plus, in my family culture, death wasn’t much discussed. We all went on with our lives.

What opened me up was the Bereavement Book writing group that Kitty led. It was a small group of just a few people, all of whom had lost a family member, recently or even far in the past (my mother had died 24 years earlier). The workshop offered a safe, tight structure and required setting aside a dedicated time to write weekly, far away from my home life.

The writing assignments sorted themselves into two themes, the first being a tribute to my mother, and the second being a chronicle of my bereavement and breaking the silence which had engulfed me. Starting with the easy exercises and positive memories really helped. One of the assignments was to bring in a picture of the deceased and write a couple of paragraphs about it. For many people this might be a nice activity, but any pictures I had of my mother were stuffed away in a box that hadn’t been touched since 1974. Having just that one task to do (which seemed insurmountable until I did it) became somehow manageable. Baby steps.

“I didn’t even remember much about my mother, or so I thought. Once I started writing, more and more memories came, and the positive memories far outweighed the darkness of loss.”

The workshop was practical, focused, and Kitty was the consummate facilitator. One of the first things I remember her saying to us was, “This is a writing group, not a therapy group, so it might be a good idea to get a therapist on the side.” This I did, and it was a great support because challenging feelings did come up, and I then had a fitting place to work through them. After the workshop was over, I continued writing every week with another group member. (We became very close friends and have always carved out time to write together, even now.) It took another year to finish the book, with the help of a generous designer friend and with production assistance from Kitty.

3. You say that initially yours was a personal bereavement book, written only for you. What changed and made you decide to share it with your family and friends? What did you hope they would gain by reading it? Looking back, how do you think this book has impacted others in your life?

Ali de Groot: I didn’t think this would ever become a book in the first place—just a few handwritten vignettes in notebook. If I had started to imagine other people reading anything, I probably would’ve stopped writing. I didn’t even remember much about my mother, or so I thought. Once I started writing, more and more memories came, and the positive memories far outweighed the darkness of loss. I also found many of her journals in the old boxes and decided to include scans of her own writing in the book. When I realized it was becoming somewhat biographical of my mother, I thought about giving it to family and close friends.

I hoped that family members would also reminisce about my mother, and I even left a chunk of blank pages in the middle of the book for people to write down their own memories. I’ve gotten lots of feedback over the years, ranging from “That’s not the mother I knew!” to “I learned so much about her, and about you.” More recently, I was at an aunt’s funeral and was surprised to see someone had brought the book and set it on the display table along with photos of my late aunt. I’m glad the book has sort of taken on a life of its own.

Front cover and inside page of a daily journal of my mother's, c. 1969

4. In the end, what were the personal rewards of undertaking this project?

Ali de Groot: The biggest personal reward: understanding the phases of grief and having the ability finally to talk about my mother. I can talk about her endlessly now! Hence the title, Learning to Speak. This is a double entendre, because before I was born, my mother developed esophageal cancer and literally had to learn to speak again after surgery. She was able to speak without a larynx and even become a teacher of other laryngectomees, which I didn’t even realize until I started looking back at her life and found a newspaper article about her.

Another invaluable reward was giving a copy of the book to each of my three kids, and hearing back from them now as adults. After all, this was the grandmother they never knew, but they can probably all name her favorite flower (lily of the valley), her favorite state, her middle name, her flaws. And they know more about me. I’ve also given the book to my closest friends, especially my old friends who knew me when I was so bottled up, and I hope they, too, came to understand me better.

5. How did writing this book influence your desire to join Modern Memoirs and pursue the work of helping others to self-publish their life stories and family histories?

Ali de Groot: When I finished the book and, with the help of Kitty, got it into print, I realized a couple of things: firstly, that writing is a deeply cathartic form of self-expression, and secondly, that I could probably do writing and editing as a profession. (I was a college teacher at that time.) So after 9/11 when there was an opening at Modern Memoirs’ nonprofit American Tribute Center for a volunteer writer, I contacted Kitty and told her I was available. That first job was unpaid, but it was a profound experience (I’ll write about that another time) that cemented my commitment to work in this field.

I love my job. I love the mentoring that I’ve gotten from Kitty and from everyone at Modern Memoirs. I love getting to know our clients, authors who all, at some point, seem to encounter struggles during the writing or completion of their books, challenges I often understand. And I can say, hands down, the best and most surprising thing I’ve ever done in my life—besides having children—is writing a book about my late mother.

* * *

For an early blog by Ali de Groot on a related topic, see “Writing and Healing: How Bereavement Became a Book.”

Liz Sonnenberg is genealogist for Modern Memoirs, Inc.

Reflections from Dr. Gail Twersky Reimer, Friend of Modern Memoirs Client Dr. Evelyn Fox Keller

Dr. Evelyn Fox Keller published Making Sense of My Life in Science: A Memoir with Modern Memoirs in February 2023. Sadly, Keller passed away in September that year, but not before celebrating the book’s arrival with two launch parties, one for residents of the hospice-care facility in which she was staying, and one for family and friends. Dr. Gail Twersky Reimer, one of Keller’s closest friends, initiated the publication process with Modern Memoirs and shepherded it through its completion. Fast-tracked because of Keller’s declining health, print editions of the Assisted Memoir were available two and a half months after Reimer initiated the project, and an eBook followed one week later. We asked Reimer to reflect on her relationship with Keller, and what she feels it meant to Keller to share her books with others.

Introduction

Keller earned her doctorate in physics from Harvard University in 1965. As described on the Jewish Women’s Archive website, “Evelyn Fox Keller was a scientist working in theoretical physics and mathematical biology until the rise of feminism in the 1970s prompted her to turn her scientific analysis to the ways gender ideology shapes scientific inquiry and concepts.” She taught, lectured, and wrote multiple articles and books, including:

She also received several awards and honors, including a MacArthur Fellowship in 1992.

Reimer received her doctorate in English and American Literature from Rutgers University. She was a faculty member of Wellesley College, associate director of the Massachusetts Foundation of the Humanities, and was the founding director of the Jewish Women’s Archive.

1. In Making Sense of My Life in Science, you and Diane Paul are singled out by Keller as friends, who, along with her family, “have been there for me whenever I needed help.” When and how did you meet Keller? What drew you to her as a friend and solidified your relationship?

Gail Reimer: As she was completing her memoir, Evelyn needed quite a bit of help. But when she and I first met in 1984, I was the one in need of help. I was coming off of three difficult and demeaning years in which my senior colleagues regularly belittled my intellectual interests and disparaged my style of teaching. Drawing on how she had come to understand her own painful experiences as a graduate student, Evelyn took it as her mission to fortify my understanding that the assault on my interests was not about me and to mentor me as I planned how best to pursue my interests going forward. Several years later we both found ourselves under attack at about the same time—Evelyn by the “defenders of science,” and I by Lynn Cheney and the defenders of “traditional history.” The support we offered one another as we combatted the misrepresentations of our respective work, along with mutual respect and eventually deep love solidified our relationship and our commitment to being there for each other in good times and bad.

2. Keller mentions you again as a member of the “Mothers’ Group,” which she and her friend Marianne Hirsch organized in Cambridge, Massachusetts in the mid-1980s “as an attempt to restore the maternal voice to feminist theory.” Describe this group and its work. What energy and insights did Keller bring to it?

Gail Reimer: The mothers’ group was a hybrid consciousness raising/discussion group. It developed from a conversation over coffee at Café Algiers in which Marianne Hirsch identified a problem she was struggling with—the mother’s voice was always theorized from the point of view of the daughter—and Evelyn, who was rarely daunted by a problem, said, “If there is no theory, let’s bring together some smart women and make one.” A small group of women, all mothers and scholars whose work touched on mothering in one way or another, met regularly in Evelyn’s apartment. Over wine and cheese, we struggled to give voice to our maternal experience “without,” as Hirsch has written, “being naïve about what the notion means or facile about its discursive character.” In her memoir Evelyn recalls our discussions as “invariably intense, provocative and stimulating.” What she leaves out is the frequency with which she was the one asking the toughest questions.

“The memoir allows readers to see behind the success, into her dreams and disappointments, her internal struggles, her loneliness and vulnerability, as well as her brilliance, boldness, and astounding self-confidence.”

3. In learning how to write her books, Keller describes learning the “discipline of clarity,” which meant “demanding that the meaning I sought to convey in every sentence be crystal clear.” She said this was “in complete accord with my overriding quest, always, to be understood.” How would you say this memoir contributes to Keller’s life and work being understood by its readers?

Gail Reimer: The title of Evelyn’s memoir, which references an earlier book of hers, Making Sense of Life (2002), makes clear that the memoir is about HER “life in science”—the concerns and questions she brought to her work in science, as well as the difficulties she faced as she tried to make a life for herself in science. Given her prominence, the numerous honors and awards she received, including the MacArthur “genius” award, as well as her extensive list of influential publications, it would be easy to imagine her career as a remarkable success story. The memoir allows readers to see behind the success, into her dreams and disappointments, her internal struggles, her loneliness and vulnerability, as well as her brilliance, boldness, and astounding self-confidence.

4. When did Keller begin and finish writing her memoir? At what point did you become involved in its publication, and what can you share about your experience in helping her with the process?

Gail Reimer: Midway through her memoir, in the chapter titled “Terra Firma, A Crucial Turning Point,” Evelyn quotes a long section from a 1977 essay she wrote about her personal struggles titled “The Anomaly of a Woman in Physics. “ I would argue that by deciding to include the essay in her memoir, Evelyn was in a sense acknowledging its significance as her initial foray into memoir writing. It wasn’t till some 35 years later, after completing the book about the climate crisis that she co-authored with Phil Kitcher (The Seasons Alter: How to Save Our Planet in Six Acts), that Evelyn returned to writing about her personal experience. She continued to work on the memoir as her health declined, relying on her son and a few friends to comment, critique, and help edit the manuscript. Concerned that time was running out and knowing how important it was to Evelyn to see the memoir published, I suggested that she self-publish and avoid the time lag from manuscript to publication typical at trade publishing houses. Modern Memoirs immediately understood the necessity to fast-track the book, and I worked closely with Evelyn to respond to their timely queries and suggested edits, choose and caption photos, decide on a title and final jacket design, and more. What for some time had felt like a book that would never see the light of day became a regular source of joy as galleys, blurbs, images of the cover, and finally the book itself arrived.

5. What was Keller’s reaction to seeing the final product? Tell us about the launch parties and the responses of the people who attended.

Gail Reimer: Given how many books she had published, it was kind of surprising to experience her excitement when the first copy arrived. She was deeply moved by the blurbs, delighted by how beautifully the cover came out (and how beautiful she looked), and thrilled that she would now be able to share the book with family and friends. There were two launch parties: one for residents of Youville House, the assisted living facility where Evelyn had been in residence for several years, and one, several weeks later, for family and friends. She spoke and read from the memoir at both, though by the second party she was too weak to finish reading the section she’d chosen. Though many of the residents and staff at Youville knew her, most were surprised and fascinated by her life story and many accomplishments, and Evelyn was amused by her sudden celebrity status at Youville. The second party was more of a love fest with many people in the room eager to expand on something mentioned in the memoir or recall a story that was not included. Evelyn was especially moved by how much her sister, Frances Fox Piven, wanted to share stories of their “sisterhood” as young children. Sadly, by the time the book was done, Evelyn no longer had the energy to write long inscriptions to the friends with whom she most wanted to share her memoir. Thankfully she’d been able to acknowledge how much those friends and colleagues meant to her in the final pages of the memoir.




If you are interested in purchasing Keller’s memoir, please visit the Modern Memoirs online shop, Memory Lane Books & Gifts.

Many of Keller’s other books are available for purchase through our affiliate page on Bookshop.org.

Liz Sonnenberg is genealogist for Modern Memoirs, Inc.

THE END: Sometimes Authors Just Don’t Want to Finish

I understand procrastination. I think it’s human nature—we all have a bit in us, and some people, more than a bit. It can be seen as a benevolent source of gravity keeping us grounded in the present (“I’d rather go out with my friend than write an agenda for next week’s meeting”) or a bargaining chip (“I’m cleaning out my silverware drawer instead of starting my taxes”) or surely it can be a debilitating problem (“I can’t finish anything”).

I’ve been trying to figure out for several decades why some people simply cannot seem to finish writing their memoirs. Or they can pretty much finish writing but can’t seem to bring it to completion, to production. One conclusion is that the memoir writing keeps the author going, mentally and even physically, and there’s little we can do to hurry it along to fruition. Of course, with the omnipresence of reminiscence, there’s always another event to write about when writing a memoir. New things always arise:

“Oh, here’s another paragraph about my second cousin once removed—it’s important.”

“I found a photo of a trophy I won in high school. Please add it!”

“Can I add something about the trip we took to Hokkaido last month?”

“Should I change the way I described my ex-wife’s parents? I think it's not very nice.” (“Hmm… yes,” I would answer.)

I’m sure that perfectionism, not procrastination, plays a role for some writers. Every re-reading of a piece lays bare the disappointing truth that one could say it differently. So one keeps revising and revising and revising. Or awareness of an audience suddenly looms: “What will my children think of this chapter?” Or “This book is too long/too short/too nice/too harsh/too boring…” More likely, the writer has become bored from reading the same piece over and over for some years.

“Every re-reading of a piece lays bare the disappointing truth that one could say it differently”

My favorite expression in writing and in other pursuits is attributed to Voltaire, referencing the words of an Italian sage: “Le mieux et l’ennemie du bien.”[1] Literally, “the best is the enemy of good.” I take it to mean: Seeking perfection gets in the way of good writing. Don’t be a perfectionist! Or, to put into action—when writing, go with what feels good and authentic, and don’t keep reworking in an attempt to be so-called “great.” This will just drag you down and stall completion. To what end? To have changed the verb “close” to “shut”? To say “upset” instead of “furious”?

Oscar Wilde is thought to have said, “I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.”

Another serious issue that can hold up the writing process is showing your writing to a friend or family member. Of course, we understand the need to get some details accurate, or fill in missing information, etc. However, letting others read your work inevitably allows the entrance of more opinions, “corrections,” and burdensome advice that can get in the way of completion. Some authors thrive on this and are motivated to plow forward; others are stalled and sometimes paralyzed by it. One client sent the manuscript, midstream, to his family member to “check a few details” and the manuscript was returned to us 7 months later. There were all of 10 sentences of revisions in 350 pages.

From the publisher’s perspective, despite our commitment to white-glove service and always respecting the client’s timetable, the longer a client’s project stretches on, the harder it becomes for the team working behind the scenes to manage it. A lengthy project means increased and long-term juggling with many other projects, some of which become priority because they are moving at a normal clip. It also means inefficiently having to adjust the interior design over and over to accommodate new paragraphs or new photos. It means having to re-read the writing many times, because it is impossible to hold on to the details of a 400-page storyline, especially over a matter of months or years. It gets harder to maintain the flow of the narrative, harder to remember the custom grammar and spelling styles (even with our custom style sheets), and harder to catch repeated information. It means regularly having to refresh the entire team on the details of the project if it’s been so long since anyone last worked on the manuscript.

Our longest book projects in the past were memorable. One took 10 years because the client became ill for 5 of those years, then luckily improved and completed the project. Not without persistent, encouraging phone calls from me every single month, for which he later thanked me.

Another client insisted on writing her book one chapter at a time, adding the photos to that chapter and making it “perfect” both editorially and design-wise before proceeding to the next chapter. For 36 chapters, this process was highly inefficient, but it worked for her, and the book was completed in 11 years!

For other clients, life interferes, and we (usually) always understand. But as an editor and project manager, I sometimes have to use the following phrases for the unassuming author, and I try to say them gently and with a smile—

“Just letting you know that these revisions/additions will extend the time and the cost of the project….”

“In the time that it takes you to consider and submit your next round of revisions, we could have this book completed and delivered to you.”

“Did you want this book in hand by the end of the current year?”

I was crestfallen when one author said to me, “I think all the friends I wrote about in my memoir have now passed away, one by one.” This, and the barbs of perfectionism, are what I doggedly try to fend off.

Full well I know that when the book is completed, or let us say “born,” authors feel a great sense of relief and accomplishment. They hold their “baby” in their hands, pass it around to adoring family and friends, and are able to say, “I did it! And it is good!”

Not always perfect, but good.

* * *

[1] from Voltaire’s La Bégueule, 1772: Dans ses écrits un sage Italien / Dit que le mieux est l’ennemi du bien. Voltaire cites the Italian verse in his article “Art dramatique” in Dictionnaire philosophique. 

Ali de Groot is director of publishing for Modern Memoirs, Inc.

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