Reflections from Modern Memoirs Client Carell Laurent

Carell Laurent published her book entitled “Pignics” and What Holds Us Together with Modern Memoirs in 2023. This cookbook took nine months from the day she first contacted us to the day books arrived on her doorstep. We asked Laurent to reflect on what the publication process was like for her, and what it has meant to share her book with others.

---

1. Your cookbook is organized into collections of recipes from the many places you lived with your family as your father’s work with the United Nations from 1960 to 1986 took you to Ghana, Madagascar, New York, Sri Lanka, and Haiti. Each section is introduced with stories and memories from those places. How did you come to choose this format—part memoir, part how-to—for your book?

Carell Laurent: Entertaining was an important part of my family’s time overseas. My parents were naturally very hospitable, and they both enjoyed opening our home(s) to friends and neighbors, believing this to be a positive way to share one’s culture with others.

Over the years, my brothers and I often shared stories of our lives overseas, and although most of our children had the pleasure of knowing their grandparents, I wanted to document some of those stories so that they will be preserved in the future. I recognized that often the stories we would tell about a place included food and get-togethers. The book’s sections on cocktails, dinners, teas, etc., just seemed to make sense in my mind as I recalled the foods we enjoyed in the different places we lived. We certainly had cocktail parties in Tananarive, Madagascar, but what I remember joyously from those days are the “musical soiree” dinners. What I remember from Accra, Ghana is running around with my brothers between the kitchen and the garden, tasting from the cocktail trays. So, it made sense in my mind to divide chapters accordingly.

2. Explain the title of your book. In your life, how does food connect you, not only with your family, but with people of other cultures?

No matter where we would end up as adults, we were bound together by those memories from Madagascar or Ghana.

Carell Laurent: Regarding the first word of the title, my children and my brothers’ children started calling the barbecues at my parents’ farm “pignics” instead of “picnics” because often pork was grilled or barbecued or roasted at these events, and we would eat outdoors picnic style.

As I mentioned above, I come from a home that really valued and appreciated different cultures. There were aspects of growing up in different countries that may have appeared to be difficult to some, but although we may have missed out on some things, we were very close as a family, and that closeness sustained us. My brothers and I knew that we would always be each other’s best friends. Regardless of where we were and when we moved from one country to another, even if we had to say goodbye to our friends, we moved together with our family members. No matter where we would end up as adults, we were bound together by those memories from Madagascar or Ghana.

The food connection is also important as the chapters indicate how they are connected by memories of a place we lived; but the food we ate there and the people we knew there came from a variety of places. You will not find only recipes from Ghana in the Ghana chapter, for example, or recipes from Sri Lanka in the Sri Lanka chapter, because that is not how we lived.

3. Your book opens with five adinkra, which are symbols used by the Akan people of Ghana. Why was it important to you to include the ones you selected? What do they mean to you?

“FIHANKRA” adinkra symbol, meaning house or compound

Carell Laurent: These particular symbols represent what were the phases of our lives (through my eyes) when we were in each country. For example, the first symbol FIHANKRA, represents a house or a compound. I remember my life in Ghana being very secure and protected.

Each symbol I selected fits with my understanding and approach to life at the time of the described chapter.

4. Whom did you intend your readers to be, and what feedback have you received so far?

Carell Laurent: This book was written for my family, and they are loving it. Some members are too young to be cooking yet, but they love the stories. Some of the older members are expressing joy that they can cook something they remember having in the past but didn’t know how to make. A few non-family members have expressed surprise at something, not knowing about some connection between my parents, for example. Everyone wishes there were more pictures in it though. Perhaps that wish will serve as inspiration for a new project sometime down the road.

For the cover, the author simply sent a favorite photograph and said she likes the color olive green. Book Designer Nicole Miller worked her magic from there. The author also said she wanted a hardcover book that would lie flat when opened. The solution was a covered-spiral binding that makes it easy for readers to follow the recipes straight from the pages.

---

Liz Sonnenberg is genealogist for Modern Memoirs, Inc.

Brushstrokes in the Portrait of You: 5 Ways to Approach Your Memoir

Detail of Vincent van Gogh, Self-Portrait 1889, oil on canvas

---

Writing a memoir, like creating any work of art, requires thousands of choices along the way. They may not feel like monumental choices—using a nickname instead of a formal name, say, or whether to include that little story from college—but each one is, in fact, a brushstroke in the portrait of you. It follows that there is no one true memoir of your life, but millions of possible versions dependent on your decisions. Ideally, this is a liberating realization for a memoir writer, but it can also induce some anxiety. Out of an entire life’s worth of stories, how do you begin to decide what to include and what to omit? What to emphasize and what to downplay? How to balance storytelling with documentation? Questions such as these are often what motivate writers to turn to our staff for guidance and support.

“No matter what you write, a compelling narrative will rise out of your reflections.”

First, there’s no need to worry, as structural or developmental editing is one of the earliest and most critical parts of the editorial process. When Modern Memoirs’ editors review your manuscript, they will point out places where your readers might like more details, and help you connect themes across the entire work. That’s one of the magic tricks of memoirs: no matter what you write, a compelling narrative will rise out of your reflections. Our editors will help you ensure that your memoir portrays your life’s story clearly and creatively.

Second, while many writers prefer a chronological structure, there are ways to write a compelling and thorough memoir that don’t follow a linear sequence from birth to the present day. Instead, you may find interest in one of the alternative approaches listed at the bottom of this article. Freeing yourself from a conventional structure might help you loosen up and discover intriguing repetitions and connections in your life.

I first began thinking about unconventional memoir structure after being introduced to Modern Memoirs client Harold Hirshman’s book sketches from memory, a compilation of essays on disparate memories written across the author’s life. Hirshman recently returned to reprint his book with updated content, and as I reviewed the project I discovered that though his “sketches” are short, they each pack a potent emotional punch. A few favorite chapter titles of mine are, “a psalm to golf and drycleaning,” “I Have Visited Cleveland More Often in My Life than Any Other City on Earth,” “I Did Something I Wanted to Do,” and “What Is Not in The New Yorker.” These titles alone give me a great sense of the author’s witty personality and what his life might be like. I can tell that the writer was following what interested him at the moment—and as a reader, that interests me.

Then I noticed that the last two commercially published memoirs I read, In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado and Passing for Human by Liana Finck, both employ unconventional structures, as well. In the Dream House is a memoir about a yearlong abusive romantic relationship. Instead of walking the reader through the story step-by-step, the author chose to write short, surreal vignettes that each explore the relationship through a different narrative archetype. In this way the situation is examined at hundreds of different angles, exploring its every facet: the love, the joy, the anger, the betrayal, the horror, and more. Its chapters are titled along the lines of “Dream House as Bildungsroman” (a coming-of-age story archetype); “Dream House as Creature Feature” (a horror movie archetype), or “Dream House as a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure.” The collective impact of these diverse angles gave me so much pleasure in reading this book, despite its, at times, harrowing content. Not only is it a bold and honest piece of writing, it is profoundly creative. I closed Machado’s memoir with appreciation for how its very structure highlights the fact that within each of our stories are a hundred different versions, all of which, on some level, are true.

Passing for Human by The New Yorker cartoonist Liana Finck also plays with the audience’s expectations. Each chapter is an exploration of a different potential root of the author’s personality (her mother, her father, and her childhood are all culprits). She weaves together the romantic problems she encounters in the present with these childhood stories in order to draw connections. In addition, Finck frequently portrays her personal narrative with symbolism from well-known stories that hold importance for her, like the book of Genesis in the Bible, which also serves to highlight her perspective and background as a Jewish author.

Drawing on these examples, here are five ideas for structuring a memoir in an unconventional way. Following one of these unique paths during your writing process may expose connections and themes in your story that you hadn’t expected to find.

1. Writing as Play (or a stream-of-consciousness start)

            Write everything that comes into your mind, without restricting yourself, for 30 minutes or an hour. See what emerges and how it shows your unique personality and writing approach. If you need a prompt, choose one of these:

• “It’s hard to know where to begin to tell my story, and so I will begin in the middle. When I was [insert half the age you are now] I…”

• “I was born in [year], a time when this country was…”

• “When I was a child I loved to…”

2. Follow a Feeling

            Sometimes, I try to think back on times I’ve experienced a particularly strong emotion (disappointment, anxiety, or gratitude, for instance). It’s amazing how many more personal stories I can remember by tracing that emotion. This also gives you the chance to easily give your memoir a theme. If you need a prompt, just start with: “I was [disappointed/worried/thankful] when…”

3. Zero In

Choose a few strong stories that help exemplify what you want to say about something or someone important in your past, such as the way you grew up sharing meals with your family, or how your mother was a perfectionist. Start with, “There is no way for me to write this memoir without first sharing that I…”

4. Mythify your Life

Like Machado and Finck, you can compare your story to famous stories, myths, and archetypes, which may reveal some interesting similarities and differences. Start with something like, “Have you heard the story of ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ [or another such story]? Here’s my account of how I strayed off the path and lived to tell the tale…”

5. Listen to the Music

            If a topic gives you joy and passion but is not conventionally included in a memoir as a focus for your career—for instance, your creative hobby, or favorite genre of music—include it anyway. Writing about your passions is a fantastic way to show your individuality, and it will likely lead you to remember and want to write down more life stories. For example, if you love a particular singer, start there. “I have always loved listening to [name the artist] because…”

Once you get started on one of these five paths to writing your memoir, you may find it hard to stop writing, and that’s a good thing. Just let the words keep flowing, and then reach out to Modern Memoirs if you’d like help bringing them to print.

---

Emma Solis is publishing associate for Modern Memoirs, Inc.

Facing the Sun: Learning the Language of My Childhood

A blog post by
Publishing Intern Olivia Go

---

My grandmother holds me while I am dressed in hanbok for Korean New Year, 2003

---

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning, I walk downstairs to the basement of Smith College’s Wright Hall, sit in the same exact seat, and prepare myself to be humiliated.

I am learning Korean for the first time.

Our very first lesson was the alphabet, and even that basic introduction to the language left me reeling.

ᅡ sounds like ah

ᅮ sounds like ooo

ᅥ sounds like oh, but so does ᅩ

ᅢ sounds like eh but so doesᅦ

ᄐ sounds like t but so does ᄄ

For the life of me, I just can’t understand why multiple characters sound exactly the same. Wouldn’t one character suffice?

I expected a learning curve, but at week eight, I could barely read, and I misspelled things all the time. I start to wonder, will I ever be literate in this language that I’ve heard my whole life?

* * *

My mom and grandmother were born in Korea, and as a child, I always heard them speak to each other in Korean. Over kimchi, jigae, and rice they would gossip about my brothers and me, about my dad, about my grandmother’s church friend who wore atrocious shoes. My mother and grandmother had a lot of disagreements, but this language bonded them to each other like a secret. Although I could make sense of only bits and pieces of their conversations, it was beautiful just to listen to them speak the language of our ancestry. To my ears, Korean was the language of two grown women. I saw my own future in their exchanges.

(Left to right) My mom, me, and my grandmother playing with gold jewelry, 2003

I grew up in Santa Clarita, California, the land of Six Flags, people who “want to speak to the manager,” and a truly absurd number of chain restaurants. I spent years of my schooling as the only Asian person in my classes, enduring torment from my classmates. Kids pulled back their eyes and talked at me using vaguely Asian-sounding fake words. I didn’t know how to respond. Was that what I looked like to them? When I opened my mouth to speak, was that how they thought I sounded?

My identity became tarnished by others’ ignorance. Nobody seemed to understand or see the beauty of my culture. Eventually, I lost sight of it myself. By the time I entered high school, I began to reject everything Korean. I refused to eat Korean food. I closed my ears to the language. I did not want to be associated with Korean people. I grew resentful of my mother and grandmother for representing a nation I wanted nothing to do with. They were constant reminders of my least favorite thing about myself.

* * *

Finally able to see the beauty in its brilliance, I’m reaching for it again, facing back toward light, and hoping it will rise to meet me.

For years, I turned my back on my Korean heritage. It felt like a beating, bright light I couldn’t bear to look at. That whole time, I couldn’t see it was the sun—essential to my very being. Finally able to see the beauty in its brilliance, I’m reaching for it again, facing back toward light, and hoping it will rise to meet me.

Part of me thought learning Korean would come as fulfillment of some sort of divine right, the words of my mother tongue unfurling out of me like a confession, phrases and sentences eager and ready to be spoken. But there is no divinity in this learning process. There is only honest, hard work—and anguish. I tell myself that’s how I know it’s important.

When I was small, my mom, grandmother and I would watch Korean dramas together. I couldn’t understand a word the actors were saying. All I knew was that there was always a man and a woman and they were in love. Spitting at the television, we would argue about which characters were handsome and which were not. Conversation died down when it was time for lunch. They would both shovel food onto my plate, giving me the best of everything, often hot purple rice, fried fish cake, salty roasted seaweed, and some sort of fruit—oranges, or Fuji apples, or persimmons. With eyes glued to the screen, my grandma would peel the fruit in one spiraling ribbon, a wizard with a paring knife. We would shamelessly smack our lips together as we ate, not a word between us except for the occasional grunt of approval.

마시서요. Delicious.

As my grandmother got older, she forgot more and more of her English. By the end of her life, we could no longer communicate with words. I wish I had started learning Korean sooner. I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time rejecting an unavoidable, precious part of myself. My grandmother was Korea to me. I miss her. I miss the place she and my mother created for me, an ocean away from where they were born. I am trying to find the words to go back.

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning I find myself wondering if my grandmother can hear me somehow as I sit, all the way down in the basement of Wright Hall, clumsily stumbling over the words,

미안해. Sorry.

사랑해요. I love you.

그렇지만 어려워요. But it’s hard.

저는시도해요. I am trying.

---

Olivia Go is the fall 2023 publishing intern for Modern Memoirs, Inc.

Endsheets: A Distinguished look for your book

---

Endsheets, also known as endpapers, are the first thing you see when you open a hardcover book. They are adhered to the hardcover board itself, and they help keep the cover and interior pages together. Typically they are a bit heavier or thicker than the rest of the text stock (paper). Nowadays, they are often the same color as the text stock (white, or natural), but this is largely out of convenience, not necessity. In fact, well-chosen endsheets can contribute as much to the unique design and feel of your book as its cover does.

If you want a distinctive touch to your book, we suggest endsheets that will complement or contrast the color of the outside cover. One popular modern option is a colorful repeating pattern, which harkens back to some of the earliest decorative endsheets, called marbled endsheets. The practice of using marbled endsheets possibly began in Iran in the 16th century. Paper would be dipped in baths of swirling paint mixed with ox gall (sourced from the bovine liver) to create dreamy, abstract patterns. European bookbinders observed and then adopted the practice. Look in any rare book library and you will likely find some marbled endsheets, proving that specialty endsheets will last, adding a classic and beautifying touch to your own book.

A solid color endsheet is also an option, in all manner of colors, even gold and silver. One of our clients who lived in France chose a red cover and blue endsheets—along with the white text stock, the combination hints at the French flag.

Another client chose to have a dark blue leather cover with Italian endsheets in all four volumes he wrote. These papers were special ordered from Florence.

For an even more personal touch, endsheets can come printed with text or images related to the content of the book. A genealogy book could highlight a family tree, for example, and a biography or memoir could include a map, company logo, or other image on the endsheets.

Endsheets can cost a bit more, but when you open the book they really stand out. They frame the pages as you read, a lovely enhancement. And they appear at the front and at the back, providing beautiful “bookends” for your masterpiece.

---

If you're interested in learning more about endsheets and how to share this book-design element with young readers in your life, company president Megan St. Marie has written extensively about endsheets in two of her books. Reading Picture Books with Children: How to Shake Up Storytime and Get Kids Talking About What They See and Read It Again: 70 Whole Book Approach Plans to Help You Shake Up Storytime are available for sale in the Modern Memoirs shop, Memory Lane Books & Gifts.

Reflections from Modern Memoirs Client Kenneth Kaplan, M.D.

Kenneth Kaplan, M.D. published his book entitled The McGill Years: Je Me Souviens with Modern Memoirs in 2023. This Assisted Memoir took one year from the day he first contacted us to the day books arrived on his doorstep. We asked Kaplan to reflect on what the publication process was like for him, and what it has meant to share his book with others.

---

1. Your book is a true memoir, focusing on a specific period of time in your life: the seven years that you lived in Montréal, Québec as an undergraduate and graduate student, before attending medical school in New York. Why did you choose to write a memoir, as opposed to telling the entire story of your life in a full autobiography? Who are your intended readers?

Kenneth Kaplan: I consider myself a scientist with limited artistic skills, so when I embarked on writing my first book, I really wanted to limit the scope of the subject in order to give myself the best chance to achieve my goal. In fact, I never considered writing an autobiography because of the grand scale of such an undertaking and the fact that I don’t consider my life to have such a unique or extraordinary quality to warrant an autobiography. Therefore, I stuck to a time in my life that is truly near and dear to me and encompasses experiences that energized, refined, and ultimately shaped my adult life going forward. My intended audience is very basic: family, friends, and anyone else who has a fond connection to McGill University and Montréal. In my case, the connection to McGill and Montréal includes my wife, my son, and my daughter-in-law.

2. Describe your writing process. Do you have journals from your McGill years? Or did you rely on memory and other sources?

Kenneth Kaplan: Well, I really didn’t have a structured writing process but rather a simple desire to accomplish the goal of writing a memoir so that I could share my experiences and talk about the people I love the most, my family. As I state in my dedication, the memoir evolves into a love story about my wife, Johanne, and me. I didn’t keep any journals during my McGill years, so I relied completely on my memory, which took a lot of intense recollection, reflection, and extraction of events from 40 years ago. Of course, on occasion I did resort to Google to ensure the accuracy of some of the historical facts and events in my recounted memories. But the thoughts, words, sentence structure, and organization are all my own, for better or worse.

3. What inspired you to write this book about your college years when you did, in early retirement at the age of 60?

Kenneth Kaplan: In the early 2000s I decided that I would write a memoir about my McGill years. In fact, I started a Word document in 2004 in which I typed the title and prologue. I saved it on every new PC that I purchased over the years, knowing that I would return to finish it when I had the time. That time finally came shortly after retiring in 2018 at age 60. I just had to keep all of those memories bottled up for 14 years before unleashing them! While my recollections may have been buried a little deeper over those 14 years, the ultimate telling of my story probably benefited from the deferment. With the perspective of time, I was better able to appreciate how setbacks ultimately served a purpose in shaping my life’s journey, in which I truly have no regrets.

4. You are an American who chose to study in another country, albeit one that borders the U.S. What have you learned about yourself—as a learner, a writer, an American—as a result of writing a memoir about your education in francophone Canada?

Kenneth Kaplan: I was the only student in my high-school graduating class to study outside the United States, and I was undoubtedly rewarded for making what seemed like a bold and unconventional decision at that time. While moving away from family and friends and the familiarity of American culture was at times difficult, it taught me that I was able to stand on my own and adapt to unfamiliar and challenging circumstances. Notably, my time in francophone Canada resulted in meeting my future wife, getting an unrivaled university education, having the chance to live in an incredible and beautiful multicultural city, and getting exposure to a culture and language that I would not have been able to experience anywhere else in North America.

5. Would you say that publication feels like the completion of something in your life, or the start of something new?

Kenneth Kaplan: The publication of my memoir definitely feels like the completion of a goal that I set for myself many years ago, and I could not be more pleased with the final product created by Modern Memoirs. While I don’t think it will lead to any additional publications, I won’t completely rule out the possibility. However, right now I’m just concentrating on enjoying life in retirement while keeping fit both mentally and physically.

---

Liz Sonnenberg is genealogist for Modern Memoirs.

What’s in My Book of Delights? My Dad’s Knack for Joy

---

My dad, Miguel Solis, and me at my graduation from Smith College, May 2023

 Soon after my graduation from Smith College in May 2023, I joined the online alumnae book club. The very first title selected for the group has turned out to be a book I know I will always cherish. The Book of Delights is a collection of lyrical essays by poet Ross Gay, though I strongly believe the project could be called a memoir. Gay wrote the book by observing and exploring the concept of delight through daily essays written over the course of a year, many of which weave in elements of his personal history. Reading this exuberant, provocative work is like a slap of fresh wind to the face as it defies a world that so often devalues and dilutes delight. It challenges us to nurture delight when we are constantly told that it is trivial. Inspired by Gay’s fierce declaration of this ethos of delight, I decided to start keeping a book of delights, too, for my own remembrance and enjoyment.

“sticking out like a lit match in a room of mild-mannered adults.”

My dad showing off his “Smith College Dad” T-shirt, October 30, 2019

My dad buckling in my sibling Rafael for a 5th grade class trip, May 17, 2017

I also drew inspiration from my father, Miguel Solis Jr., since he embodies Gay’s ethos of delight in his own way, as a Mexican American man from El Paso, Texas. He possesses an amazing ability to delight (there’s no better word for it) everyone around him while being nothing like them, sticking out like a lit match in a room of mild-mannered adults. Put another way, he’s always been comfortable with, or has even delighted in, being the odd one out. For example, despite coming from a culture of machismo, my dad never had any issues joining me in girly activities, or talking about being my stay-at-home parent for my first couple of years. I remember walking into a new Girl Scouts troop meeting as a little kid and finding I was the only one with a dad in tow instead of a mom. But soon my dad was wowing the crowd, milking his outsider status to provoke everyone’s raucous laughter, and finding camaraderie and solidarity with the moms. Any nervousness I’d felt about being the different kid melted away.

My dad has always followed wherever laughter led him, taking my siblings and me along for the ride. A few years after that Girl Scout meeting, he attended a “bike rodeo” event at school, at which he jumped on one of our small bikes and zipped up and down the asphalt, looking much like a gorilla on a tricycle (he said so himself). My teacher and classmates shrieked with laughter, and my siblings and I felt giddy with pride in our fearless, funny dad. Another time, in the humid hallway where kids crammed together waiting to get picked up after school, everyone had tuned out the urgent monotone of names called for dismissal over the loudspeaker. Then we snapped back to attention when we heard, “Mickey Mouse!” “Donald Duck!” “Spongebob Squarepants!” and I grinned with my friends as we realized that the call was for me.

My dad on a swingset in Austin, Texas, January 11, 2015

“I’ve come to see his knack for joy as a superpower of sorts. He lives with delight, no matter how persistently the larger world ignores or discourages it”

Perhaps the greatest power of delight is that it does much more than brighten up a slightly boring day; it helps us live, and it helps us connect. I was surprised to learn recently about the Latinx Paradox, which highlights that Latinx Americans generally live longer than non-Latinx white Americans, despite having higher health risks and lower incomes on average. One of the proposed explanations, which has been supported by small studies so far, is that Latinx people laugh on more occasions and live closer to family on average, leading to happier, healthier, longer lives. I can’t help but think about my dad and the rest of my Mexican American family in this context, boldly inserting themselves into the non-Latinx social fabrics of schools, jobs, and neighborhoods with joy and openness; but this paradox can remind everyone of the concrete power of delight. As people, we are meant for delight. Our physiology itself rewards it.

Through reading Gay’s book and thinking about my dad, I’ve come to see his knack for joy as a superpower of sorts. He lives with delight, no matter how persistently the larger world ignores or discourages it, and I am profoundly grateful for his example. And so, in his honor and inspired by Gay, I share my delight of the day, the one I’ve written on the first page of my own book of delights: the delight of laughing along with my dad and the rest of my family.

Now it’s your turn: What will be at the front of your own “Book of Delights”? A person? A place? A hobby? A memory? Write it down in the comments if you’d like. Then get a journal, or open a new document on your computer, and keep on writing—and delighting in doing so.

---

Emma Solis is publishing associate for Modern Memoirs.