Sabbatical. That was something I’d only heard of in academia, when my friends who were professors would take off to Italy or Hawaii or South Africa. But a business sabbatical?
I had worked at Modern Memoirs for 15 years already when the founder and president, Kitty Axelson-Berry, retired and sold the business to Megan and Sean St. Marie. It was a major transition, and there were a lot of unknowns. I stayed on as director of publishing, since I really enjoyed my work and knew I was needed.
Within about a year, Megan, my new boss, told me she was thinking about some way in which to honor my longevity in the business. That said a lot about her as president of a company, since I barely knew her. “How about at the 20-year mark?” she asked. “In 2024 it’ll be 30 years for the business and 20 for you.” That was still several years out and elusive to my thinking. I just nodded my head. Maybe a party, I suggested. (Yes, they threw me a party!) But she was thinking of something even more significant. A sabbatical.
And actually, whether Megan knew it or not, this was an extension of the company culture initiated by Kitty Axelson-Berry. With her no-nonsense, get-it-done attitude, Kitty was also humorous, authentic, ethical, generous, and she intuitively instilled a family-friendly environment before that term was even coined. It was a small, growing business back then and we juggled a lot, but we were also given regular, dedicated time to work on our own personal projects in the office. We had team meeting lunches. If things came up in my family, Kitty would shoo me out the door: “Go be a good mother.” When she herself went out for café meetings, she’d say, “I’m being a good friend.” When I developed back problems, she gave me a month off and a local gym membership so I could use their pool for recovery. (This is the main reason I improved, and I still go to the pool twice a week.)
It is these values that make all the difference in a company culture. In the past five years, Megan has illuminated these values, combining her speed-skater motivation with compassion, lead-by-example management, and a collaborative, inclusive style. So when she presented a brand-new sabbatical policy in January of 2024, just as she said she would, I surely felt honored. The language in her letter speaks for itself: “We are very glad to mark this milestone for you with a sabbatical that will allow you to immerse yourself in the kind of heart-led work that you have enabled so many other writers to enjoy for the past two decades.”
“Self-reflection is as important a phase of human development as learning to crawl.”
This opened a door. What if I did that kind of “heart-led work” on my own? What if I got to create some kind of memoir? Well, let’s be practical: just one part of my life, not the whole thing! Five years? A decade? After all, Kitty had managed to write a memoir about a decade of her life, and I witnessed the creation of that book, with all its ups and downs. But all of a sudden every client’s voice came to me with a barrage of doubts and questions I’ve heard over and over: Isn’t this vain? Who really cares? It’s all about me! I’m not a writer! Who’s going to read this? Is it any good? Etc. etc. etc.
I had to give myself the talking-to I’ve told many, many clients: Self-reflection is as important a phase of human development as learning to crawl. Your children or maybe your children’s children will care. And yes, it’s all about you, but there’s so much they don’t know about you! You don’t even have to consider yourself a “writer” to express yourself in words. Ray Bradbury said, “Just write every day of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens.”
With that, I am arriving at a plan for a March/April 2025 sabbatical. Some of my thoughts:
I hope to write about a time in my life that I consider to be the most explorative—young adulthood. I also hope to experiment with alternative forms of memoir. People often ask me, “What is a memoir? What should it include?” And I have always said, “It’s whatever you want it to be.” Of course I’m not talking about a bestseller, commercial memoir. That has some formula to it. But your own memoir? Make it yours. Could I do that? I love the idea that memoir can include poetry, prose, journaling, essay, short story, artwork, song, and even dance, all the things I love in life!
A few books come to mind that have influenced my thinking on form and style: Hopscotch by Julio Cortazar. Bone Black by bell hooks. The Liars’ Club by Mary Karr. Anything by Anais Nin. The Afterlife by Donald Antrim. Memoirs Found in a Bathtub by Stanislaw Lem. Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino.
I plan to write every day. Read every day. Walk every day. Swim twice a week. I hope to mix in some personal interviews with a few family members and friends about that period of my life, reconnect with these people, perhaps go deeper with them. I hope to include some photography on location.
After writing all this, I’m feeling shy and protective, and I don’t want to say much more about what my intentions are. Spontaneity is my greatest ally. But I do want to thank you, my bosses past and present, and all of you clients and authors whom I have witnessed, walked alongside at times, and who have inspired me with your determination to get a few (thousand) words on paper and create the tangible, priceless gift of yourself. I know it isn’t easy. But I have seen the rewards. I’ll give it a whirl.
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A note from Modern Memoirs: Rest assured that business at Modern Memoirs will continue as usual while Ali is away in March and April 2025. Though we will miss her, careful planning has ensured that the rest of our close-knit team is ready and able to handle the full range of her responsibilities. We are all committed to ensuring the smooth progression of client projects as we wish Ali well in her creative pursuits during this well-deserved sabbatical. —Megan St. Marie