THE END: Sometimes Authors Just Don’t Want to Finish


I understand procrastination. I think it’s human nature—we all have a bit in us, and some people, more than a bit. It can be seen as a benevolent source of gravity keeping us grounded in the present (“I’d rather go out with my friend than write an agenda for next week’s meeting”) or a bargaining chip (“I’m cleaning out my silverware drawer instead of starting my taxes”) or surely it can be a debilitating problem (“I can’t finish anything”).

I’ve been trying to figure out for several decades why some people simply cannot seem to finish writing their memoirs. Or they can pretty much finish writing but can’t seem to bring it to completion, to production. One conclusion is that the memoir writing keeps the author going, mentally and even physically, and there’s little we can do to hurry it along to fruition. Of course, with the omnipresence of reminiscence, there’s always another event to write about when writing a memoir. New things always arise:

“Oh, here’s another paragraph about my second cousin once removed—it’s important.”

“I found a photo of a trophy I won in high school. Please add it!”

“Can I add something about the trip we took to Hokkaido last month?”

“Should I change the way I described my ex-wife’s parents? I think it's not very nice.” (“Hmm… yes,” I would answer.)

I’m sure that perfectionism, not procrastination, plays a role for some writers. Every re-reading of a piece lays bare the disappointing truth that one could say it differently. So one keeps revising and revising and revising. Or awareness of an audience suddenly looms: “What will my children think of this chapter?” Or “This book is too long/too short/too nice/too harsh/too boring…” More likely, the writer has become bored from reading the same piece over and over for some years.

“Every re-reading of a piece lays bare the disappointing truth that one could say it differently”

My favorite expression in writing and in other pursuits is attributed to Voltaire, referencing the words of an Italian sage: “Le mieux et l’ennemie du bien.”[1] Literally, “the best is the enemy of good.” I take it to mean: Seeking perfection gets in the way of good writing. Don’t be a perfectionist! Or, to put into action—when writing, go with what feels good and authentic, and don’t keep reworking in an attempt to be so-called “great.” This will just drag you down and stall completion. To what end? To have changed the verb “close” to “shut”? To say “upset” instead of “furious”?

Oscar Wilde is thought to have said, “I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.”

Another serious issue that can hold up the writing process is showing your writing to a friend or family member. Of course, we understand the need to get some details accurate, or fill in missing information, etc. However, letting others read your work inevitably allows the entrance of more opinions, “corrections,” and burdensome advice that can get in the way of completion. Some authors thrive on this and are motivated to plow forward; others are stalled and sometimes paralyzed by it. One client sent the manuscript, midstream, to his family member to “check a few details” and the manuscript was returned to us 7 months later. There were all of 10 sentences of revisions in 350 pages.

From the publisher’s perspective, despite our commitment to white-glove service and always respecting the client’s timetable, the longer a client’s project stretches on, the harder it becomes for the team working behind the scenes to manage it. A lengthy project means increased and long-term juggling with many other projects, some of which become priority because they are moving at a normal clip. It also means inefficiently having to adjust the interior design over and over to accommodate new paragraphs or new photos. It means having to re-read the writing many times, because it is impossible to hold on to the details of a 400-page storyline, especially over a matter of months or years. It gets harder to maintain the flow of the narrative, harder to remember the custom grammar and spelling styles (even with our custom style sheets), and harder to catch repeated information. It means regularly having to refresh the entire team on the details of the project if it’s been so long since anyone last worked on the manuscript.

Our longest book projects in the past were memorable. One took 10 years because the client became ill for 5 of those years, then luckily improved and completed the project. Not without persistent, encouraging phone calls from me every single month, for which he later thanked me.

Another client insisted on writing her book one chapter at a time, adding the photos to that chapter and making it “perfect” both editorially and design-wise before proceeding to the next chapter. For 36 chapters, this process was highly inefficient, but it worked for her, and the book was completed in 11 years!

For other clients, life interferes, and we (usually) always understand. But as an editor and project manager, I sometimes have to use the following phrases for the unassuming author, and I try to say them gently and with a smile—

“Just letting you know that these revisions/additions will extend the time and the cost of the project….”

“In the time that it takes you to consider and submit your next round of revisions, we could have this book completed and delivered to you.”

“Did you want this book in hand by the end of the current year?”

I was crestfallen when one author said to me, “I think all the friends I wrote about in my memoir have now passed away, one by one.” This, and the barbs of perfectionism, are what I doggedly try to fend off.

Full well I know that when the book is completed, or let us say “born,” authors feel a great sense of relief and accomplishment. They hold their “baby” in their hands, pass it around to adoring family and friends, and are able to say, “I did it! And it is good!”

Not always perfect, but good.

* * *

[1] from Voltaire’s La Bégueule, 1772: Dans ses écrits un sage Italien / Dit que le mieux est l’ennemi du bien. Voltaire cites the Italian verse in his article “Art dramatique” in Dictionnaire philosophique


Ali de Groot is director of publishing for Modern Memoirs, Inc.

Family Reunions at the Homestead, a Place of Our Hearts

This post is the tenth in a series-in-progress by company president Megan St. Marie about heirlooms and objects related to her family history that she keeps in her office to inform and inspire her work at Modern Memoirs.


“The Homestead” a painting by Sean Paul Lambert, hanging in Megan St. Marie’s office

Recently, I travelled to northwestern Vermont for the annual family reunion on my father’s side of the family. This was the 51st year of the gathering, and it was held at the house where my father, Ray Lambert, and his twelve younger siblings were raised. Referred to as “the homestead,” the old farmhouse is now owned by an uncle whose late wife was my father’s younger sister, and I’ve often considered writing a biography of the place to document its history and reflect on all it means to me and to our family. Though I haven’t embarked on such a project yet, my brother, Sean Paul Lambert, is an artist, and a print of a painting he made of the homestead hangs in my office, with another copy at my house, and many more prints in the possession of the extended Lambert family.

Original journal entry of July 5, 2024 by Megan St. Marie’s father, Raymond A. Lambert, transcribed below

This year, our reunion at the homestead was smaller than usual, with “only” about 75 people in attendance. My siblings and some of my cousins couldn’t make the trip, as was the case for some teens and twenty-somethings in my children’s generation. This was also the first year my father was unable to attend, due to a brief illness that kept him home. But of course, Dad was at the reunion in all of our hearts, and a journal entry he wrote expresses that he was there with us in his heart, too. With his permission, I share his reflections on the “reasons and purposes” of family reunions below, in the same spirit that so many Modern Memoirs clients come to us in order to preserve and share their parents’ words of wisdom:


July 5, 2024, Fri. of the 13th Week in Ordinary Time

(Daily Journal Entry by Raymond A. Lambert)

Family reunion has reasons and purposes. When thinking about our family reunion in Highgate, Center, Vermont at the Lambert/Chevalier homestead these reasons and purposes come to mind:

  • Reunion: To reconnect the bonds of family, friendship, love and concern within and across generations.

  • Refresh: To take in the atmosphere of hospitality with conversation and by partaking of shared food and drink.

  • Relax: To be at ease with family members and friends invited to celebrate the whole family.

  • Rejoice: Our French heritage has a certain “joie de vie,” a joy of life, in life, about life, so evident in the laughter of all at the reunion.

  • Recall: To remember those who have passed and to share stories with each other about them and about their lives and ours.

  • Resolve: To be firmly committed to family unity and continuity by supporting each other during the good times and in times of need.

  • Return: To come to the annual family reunion as each one is able and to encourage every family member to attend, if possible.

“We also gather to Regale each other with entertainment…Rediscover the gifts that each person brings…And we Remind each other of who we are and where we come from”

I’ll add a few other words to Dad’s excellent list of reunion reasons and purposes. In our family, we also gather to Regale each other with entertainment at the annual talent show, during which children show off athletic feats or skills honed in dance and music lessons, and adults perform jokes, skits, and songs that inspire laughter, tears, and occasional groans from the audience. We Rediscover the gifts that each person brings, as family members present their latest knitting and sewing projects, invite us on local home and garden tours to see how a renovation or building project is going and to enjoy the bounty of their green thumbs, or they treat us to favorite recipes. And we Remind each other of who we are and where we come from, connected through love and a heritage we share, no matter how different we may feel from each other in some ways, or where our life paths have taken us.

There were several years I missed our family reunion when I was a teenager and in my young adulthood. I had all kinds of excuses for failing to prioritize the annual gathering, none of which hold water for me anymore, and all of which I now realize were grounded in a youthful sense of having plenty of time ahead of me for such events. Today I know better—not just because my own age in midlife tells me I likely have more time behind me than I do ahead of me, but also because as I see my father’s generation aging and continuing to give of themselves to our family, I truly recognize how precious all times of reunion with them are. Someday if I do write a biography of the homestead, there will be at least one chapter devoted to the Lambert family reunion, to record for future generations just how lucky we’ve been to have these gatherings in this very special place of our hearts.

The homestead in the early 20th century, before it belonged to the Lambert family, pictured on a postcard noting that it was the birthplace of U. S. Senator Warren R. Austin (1877–1962)


Megan St. Marie, photo by Jason Lamb Photography

Megan St. Marie is president of Modern Memoirs, Inc.

A Modern Memoirs First: Publishing a Pair of Tête-bêche Books


As lovers of books of all shapes, sizes, and types, the Modern Memoirs staff is always on the lookout for opportunities to push the limits of conventional book design. Recently, a repeat client wished to publish a bilingual, two-volume autobiography, with each volume containing the original Chinese text and its English translation. After exploring several out-of-the-box design possibilities, Modern Memoirs ended up creating an economical, very special pair of books with an uncommon binding method called tête-bêche.

“the tête-bêche technique is used to combine two books into one”

Tête-bêche roughly translates to “head-to-foot,” with the latter part of the term from an archaic French word for "double-ended." (The French phrase “un lit bêchevet” is a related term that refers to a bed with heads at either end, and etymology ultimately traces back to the Latin “biceps,” or two-headed.) In bookbinding, the tête-bêche technique is used to combine two books into one, as the second book is rotated 180 degrees so that it is upside down and begins at the back cover. The reader can choose either side of the book to begin from, and then flip it over to read the rest.

Though tête-bêche binding is very rarely used today, you may be familiar with it if you’ve read science fiction or mystery stories published by Ace Books in the 1950s–1970s. Earlier examples date back to Europe in the 19th century (and possibly beforehand), which combine religious texts—consider, for example, having the Old and New Testaments bound in this way. Today, tête-bêche binding is most commonly used in countries with two official languages, such as Canada. Since each text in a tête-bêche book gets its own front cover and place on the spine, the style presents both texts in the same way, without implying a hierarchy of one version or language as the primary one.

“The design’s effectiveness in affirming the equal value and importance of two languages was an excellent reason for us to use tête-bêche binding for our client’s two-volume, bilingual autobiography”

The design’s effectiveness in affirming the equal value and importance of two languages was an excellent reason for us to use tête-bêche binding for our client’s two-volume, bilingual autobiography. Once translation, editorial, and design phases were complete, we worked closely with our printer affiliate to pull off the resulting complex production process. We even shipped printed, tapebound galleys for the printer to use as hard-copy mockups to ensure all of the pages in the differently oriented parts of the two books were placed correctly, and that the two “front” covers on each book were properly positioned. We were all nervous when advance copies arrived at our office, and when we unboxed them we were relieved and delighted. The books came out beautifully! Our client received lots of praise, and we were gratified that we had been able to create custom books that fit all of our client’s wants and needs.

Now we find ourselves positively bursting with ideas for other uses of tête-bêche bindings. Imagine a tête-bêche memoir about a marriage, with one side by each partner; a memoir about one’s parents or grandparents; or a genealogy for both sides of the family. Once you start dreaming up possibilities, it’s hard to stop! Contact us today if any of these ideas spark your imagination, or if you’d like to explore other custom binding options to suit a special project of your own.


Emma Solis is publishing associate for Modern Memoirs.

Reflections from Modern Memoirs Client Nien-Tszr “Tom” Tsai

Nien-Tszr “Tom” Tsai published his two-volume, bilingual autobiography entitled Hiking on the Mountain and Start Your Engine! with Modern Memoirs in 2024, featuring the first-ever tête-bêche bindings that our company has produced. Tsai’s wife, Elizabeth Tan Tsai, who has published three books of her own with Modern Memoirs, spearheaded the project on behalf of her husband. This Assisted Memoir project, which included Modern Memoirs’ commissioned translation of the text from Chinese to English, took one year and four months from the day she first contacted us to the day books arrived on the Tsais’ doorstep. We asked the Tsais to reflect on the publication process and to comment on what it has meant to share his books with others.


1. Tom, in Hiking on the Mountain, you write that you were born in China in 1937, and that your mother died when you were seven years old, the same year civil war broke out between the Communist Party and the Nationalist (KMT) government. In those troubled times, you grew close to your father, who raised you as a single parent. When you moved to California in the 1970s, he joined you and helped you and your wife, Elizabeth, take care of your two children. In honor of Father’s Day this month, please share a memory or value you learned from your father that you will always carry with you.

Tom Tsai: I remember that my father was always kind to other people. He was very generous to his friends. He was quiet, a man of few words. He lived simply, avoiding luxury. He exercised daily indoors and outdoors, doing tai chi beautifully, which I learned from him.

2. When you were twelve, your father joined the KMT army and moved the two of you from Mainland China to Taiwan. Later, you went to the United States to study, and it became your permanent home. You write, “Over time, my homesickness diminished while my affinity for my thriving homeland grew.” How were you able to maintain a connection with your homeland while building a new life in the U.S.?

Tom Tsai: I maintained connection by corresponding with relatives, classmates, and friends in Taiwan and Mainland China; reading books and newspapers about changes occurring there; watching Chinese cinema and opera; attending lectures by Chinese writers; helping Taiwan’s shipbuilding industry and the Mainland’s railway development; visiting Taiwan and the Mainland many times; singing with various Chinese choral groups in Taiwan and at Lincoln Center; and teaching driving to (and chatting with) Chinese visiting scholars and new immigrants.


“Reading my writings transports me to yesteryears. This personal history shows how I have become what I am today.”

3. In Hiking on the Mountain, you write, “Ever since I attended a literary camp during my sophomore year in high school and began journaling, I have been fascinated with using writing to express my emotions and record my experiences.” What makes the writing process so rewarding for you?


Tom Tsai: The writing process clarifies my thoughts and distills my experiences in precise words. These words become fixed in my mind. I can retrieve these words and relive my experiences. Reading my writings transports me to yesteryears. This personal history shows how I have become what I am today.

4. Your career was in mechanical engineering, but you also spent years as a driving instructor in the Washington, D.C. area, teaching 1,000 people—mainly international students and their parents—who ranged from sixteen to seventy-five years of age. Start Your Engine! shares letters from former students who describe you as energetic and kind, offering patient guidance that put them at ease and made them feel more self-assured. Many remember you encouraging them, even quite early in their lessons, to step on the accelerator and “Keep going!” How did this become your signature expression?

Tom Tsai: “Keep going” simplifies in two words the lesson I impart: You’ve begun, don’t be scared, maintain your speed, keep driving. It relaxes the students. It affirms that they’re doing well and should keep doing what they’re doing. It boosts their confidence. While this lesson is one that applies to driving, it can metaphorically extend to any area of life in which one must persevere.

5. In Start Your Engine!, you describe how everyday driving can offer broader philosophical insights. What is an example?

Tom Tsai: In my years of teaching driving, I have often drawn parallels between the rules of the road and the larger lessons of life. For instance, by following traffic rules, such as “keep to the right,” we automatically drive on the right side of the road. No one needs to remind us. Safe driving habits become a part of our life. The larger lesson is: Follow the rules and live safely.

6. Elizabeth, what inspired you to return to Modern Memoirs to publish your husband’s writings in this two-volume collection? What are your observations on the publication process—especially choosing the specialized tête-bêche binding? How have others responded to the books?

Elizabeth Tsai: The friendship and trust that I have developed with Modern Memoirs during the publication of my three books inspired me to return when Tom decided to publish his Chinese books in English and Chinese. MM arranged for their translation with a university translation center. After editing the translation, I turned the project back to MM, who suggested tête-bêche binding, where one can read the Chinese text and, turning the book head over tail, read the English text. The bilingual books arrived just in time for a family gathering for Mother’s Day. Our children and grandchildren did not leave empty handed! We are very pleased and happy with the books, which the Library of Congress has added to its collection, and our family and friends love them.


Liz Sonnenberg is the staff Genealogist at Modern Memoirs, Inc.

Reflections from Modern Memoirs Client Stephen Rostand

Stephen Rostand has published four books with Modern Memoirs. The first three—a photography collection in 2007, a department history in 2008 (reprinted in a second edition in 2019), and a family history in 2020—were featured in the January 2022 edition of “Reflections.” Rostand’s fourth publication, entitled It’s Okay to Play, was completed in 2024 and features another collection of his photography. Upon receiving his books, Rostand wrote to us, saying:

“The books are beautiful, even better than I expected. The paper has the right feel and texture, the photos are crisp, sharp and appear much better on paper than on the computer screen. In all, the real book is a work of art and everyone is to be congratulated for their contributions to what is so outstanding and masterfully done. You all have added sharpness, focus, and, as we photographers like to say, ‘snap’ to my ideas. You did a great job. I am overwhelmed.”

We followed up to ask the author to reflect on his art and his continued interest in the publication process.


1. In 2022, you said that you published your first photography book, entitled Mostly Paris, in order to preserve the best of your images for family and friends. What motivated you to create this second collection? With whom do you intend to share it?

Stephen Rostand: Mostly Paris was published 17 years ago, and during that time I often thought about doing another book of photographs, but what photos to use and their purpose was unclear. During this timeframe a constant theme that kept appearing in news articles and in my professional journals was the problem of “work/life balance” and “burnout.” Having, at one time, experienced this phenomenon, I thought it would be interesting to do a book of photographs demonstrating what people do to fulfill their lives other than work. I call the book It’s Okay to Play. It tries to show photographically how childhood play transitions to adult pastimes. I am distributing this book to family, friends, and colleagues, but I realize many of them are in my geriatric age group. Although it is never too late to play, I will also be giving these books to many of my younger colleagues who are at the onset or in the middle of their careers.

2. In the first volume, every image was shot in black and white. In It’s Okay to Play, two-thirds of the images are in color. What accounts for that change?

Stephen Rostand: In the era of film photography, before computers and digital cameras, whether the photo was in black and white or color depended on what film you had in your camera at the time; most often it was black and white. For those reasons, in that era, photographers tended to see in black and white. I, as many others, felt black and white showed the essence of the photo without the distraction of color. In the present digital era, the photographer has the option of black and white or color, without concern for film. As a result, one has the opportunity of seeing in either mode and can make a choice. Although I still believe, in many instances color detracts from the essence of the image, it can also add warmth or feelings that might not be appreciated in a stark black-and-white print.

3. The French photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson once said, “Your first 1,000 photographs are your worst.” You have been photographing for sixty years. Do you agree with Cartier-Bresson? What is one of the key lessons you have learned about this art form in that time?

When armed with a camera or a sketch pad, one’s surroundings take on greater dimensions. One tends to look in every direction, up, down, side to side, seeing people and places in greater detail, perhaps for the first time.

Stephen Rostand: Cartier-Bresson is correct. A really good photograph is elusive. It takes a long time to know your equipment, to have the patience to see your surroundings, and to decide what would make a good photograph—its timing and its purpose. It means early on one can waste much film and time. Nevertheless, one can occasionally produce a good image. With more time and maturity, one’s images improve progressively until one can more readily discover the “decisive moment.” Thereafter, good photographs are produced more consistently. Time, practice, and patience are the secrets to success in any art form or, for that matter, in any field of endeavor.

4. In your recent book, you said that photography helps you to see things from different perspectives and gain insights into people, the world, art, and yourself. How is that so? Can you share an anecdote of when photography gave you such insights?

Stephen Rostand: Most people live their daily lives oblivious to their surroundings. Their focus is on work and their activities of daily living. When armed with a camera or a sketch pad, one’s surroundings take on greater dimensions. One tends to look in every direction, up, down, side to side, seeing people and places in greater detail, perhaps for the first time. One takes in the complete scene, is more aware of one’s surroundings, may be better able to anticipate what might be happening, see the humor or seriousness in the scene. Life becomes more interesting and richer. Some examples for me: seeing humor in the incongruous juxtaposition of a Sabrett’s hotdog stand next to the entrance of Harry Winston’s jewelry store on Fifth Avenue in New York; another is the deep spiritual response I had on seeing the blue-green ice of a calving Margaree Glacier on a cold, silent, overcast morning while virtually alone on a small boat on the inner passage of Alaska.

5. The American photographer Lois Greenfield once said, “My interest in photography is not to capture an image I see or even have in my mind, but to explore the potential of moments I can only begin to imagine.” For you, how much of photography is about your intention, and how much is about the unforeseen?

Stephen Rostand: Greenfield’s more philosophical bent does not resonate with me. Unless one is a professional photographer carrying out specific assignments, most photographers may often only have a vague idea of what they are looking for. Perhaps they want to capture a particular place, be it urban or rural, a portrait, wildlife, or flowers. I like to photograph, when possible, the theater of life. I like to have people in my pictures. But having a general idea of what one wants does not mean one can always anticipate what one will encounter when arriving at the venue. One’s intention often comes after having looked at the finished photograph because much work in the dark room or with Photoshop creates the final image, and often the process of making that final image is when the photographer’s intention and/or philosophy is revealed. The final image reveals not only the scene but also the photographer who took it. The image and the photographer are the same.

Sabrett’s Peerage, Fifth Avenue, New York, New York, May 1994
Photo by Stephen Rostand

Epiphany, Margaree Glacier, Inside Passage, Alaska, July 2015
Photo by Stephen Rostand


Liz Sonnenberg is the staff Genealogist at Modern Memoirs, Inc.

Reflections from Modern Memoirs Client Marian Leibold

Marian Leibold has published two collections of poetry with Modern Memoirs. Her first book, entitled Forever Now: The Interconnectedness of All Things, was published in 2020. The second book, entitled Bridges: Visible and Invisible, came out this year. We interviewed Leibold about her first project in the October 2022 edition of “Reflections” and caught up with her again this month—National Poetry Month—to find out more about her second one.


“Poetry often functions as a bridge between the conscious and the unconscious parts of ourselves, much the way a melody or song blends those same aspects of heart and mind.”

1. In one piece in your recent book, you say that “poetry is a tool for map-making.” What do you mean by that?

Marian Leibold: Poetry often functions as a bridge between the conscious and the unconscious parts of ourselves, much the way a melody or song blends those same aspects of heart and mind. Maps can be records of lived experience, visual routes to offer to fellow travelers, aids to orient one in the world, encouragement to explore, companions in the unknown larger world, or some combination of all of these. I would hope poetry can similarly serve as a tool for “map-making” for our individual journeys through invisible, yet real, terrain.

2. Your second volume is organized around the theme of bridges, with different structural types and their symbolic meanings framing the several chapters. What inspired you to use bridges in this way?

Marian Leibold: I knew I wanted “bridges” as a theme because it seems that now, more than ever, our contentious world is calling for reconnection. Bridges, both visually and metaphorically, offer the invitation for people to think about how they might build and/or cross bridges in their own lives to gain greater understanding and compassion.

3. As you did with your first book, you placed a painting you created on the cover. Can you share a bit about the place you’ve depicted in the painting and your process generating it? In deep, rich colors, it portrays a brook in a forest, with wildflowers growing on both sides of the water, and a fallen log crossing over the brook to form a natural bridge. Which came first, the title Bridges, or the painting?

Marian Leibold: The painting on the cover represents a natural landscape in which a once living tree is repurposed into a bridge. I spend as much time as I can in the natural world and the image of two hillsides connected by a fallen tree carries within it a hidden message for us all. The painting preceded the book title. Perhaps on some level, they just found each other.

4. In one poem you write, “My grip on life is loosening / while my full participation grows.” How would you say this second book is a product of the age you are now?

Marian Leibold: My second book, Bridges, includes many poems involving discernment. As time is a limited natural resource for humans, one must choose wisely how to use it. As I grow older, I become “somewhat” more realistic about the fact that there are only twenty-four hours in a day and that Nature will have her way whether I sanction it or not. Choosing to comply with her teaching seems like a good idea now!

5. What was it about your experience of publishing the first volume that led you to publish a new volume?

Marian Leibold: I enjoyed working with Modern Memoirs, and holding the finished product in my hands was like being given the keys to a door I had always wanted to open. Poems are not meant to live between the pages of dusty journals or on scraps of paper folded in pockets. They are meant to breathe their life into the world, and publishing my first book made this evident.


Liz Sonnenberg is genealogist for Modern Memoirs.